Assignment # 3
MONTANA(memory poem)
With the sun shining through the glass
I am the first to awake
Touching the water with my toes
I feel a rush of ice all the way up to my nose
I quickly leap onto the rocks
waiting for the adventurous day ahead
As the rest of sisters wake from their beds
I explore the wonders of Flathead Lake
I don't make a twitch as I come across a friend
slithering past, a little baby snake
Skipping rocks and splashing in the water is what I do best
as my laughter and smiles light up the rest
My energy never fades while im at this wonderful place
It will always be favorite, to escape
As the sun sets I beam with warm feelings
Not wanting the day to end
I pack my bags and shed a tear
but then I think, there's always next year
SAE
The place I love the most is down University Avenue
The one with the lions, the purple and yellow, it's true
The brothers out on the porch enjoying the sun
Always smiling and having fun
All so nice but always trouble
TITF remarks and a few minors, doubled
Charlie's room or Ganny's Pub is where the party's at
If not, you'll probably find them buying brand new hats
No one will ever change my mind
Those are my favorite boys, I find
I can't wait for the years to come
because SAE will be my home
ONE FRIEND
I have so many wonderful friends
Who to trust? Who is real?
Please Lord, just one is enough to send
One who will understand and feel
Someone to listen but never judge
Someone to give and not expect a thing back
When I am down to give me a nudge
When I am unreasonable to give me a smack
Help me stay strong as I struggle to find
A friend who loves me for me
A person with some peace of mind
There aren't many loyal, can't you see?
I know you will help me mend
By sending me just one true friend
2 comments:
Natalie,
I like the "one friend" poem, the word choice is good and I like creative word choice.
My favorite line is: "I know you will help me mend, by sending me one true friend". It's nice and I like it because it changes it up at the end, the rhyming scheme I mean.
The line I think you could work on is: "When I am down to give me a nudge". I know its probably hard to rhyme with judge, but you don't always have to rhyme it. I think this line could be better.
I like this one better than the other ones because I can connect to it better, and I've never been to Montana. ;)
For the 2nd one, the "SAE" one...
I like it, I'm not sure exactly what it is about however, but I like the word choice.
I like the line: "Always smiling and having fun" because it gives you a good image of what they look like or what they're doing in the poem.
The line I think could use some work is: "No one will ever change my mind". It doesn't seem to fit as well, but that is just what I think. It was kind of hard to find a line that needed work in this one.
I like the one friend poem, but this one is 2nd.
1- Wow NP you’re not too bad at this poem writing business. Really I mean it this is really good and has really great description. The fun and adventures the author has and continues to have when they are at Flathead Lake.
2- “Touching the water with my toes. I feel a rush of ice all the way up to my nose.”
3- My energy never fades while i’m at this wonderful place. It will always be favorite, to escape.
- This line needs a little work with just the flow. It’s a good line but the flow of the line just doesn’t quite match the rest of the story.
1- The best poem I’ve seen or heard by you. Great job on the flow, rhyming, and story in the poem. The poem is about a place at the U of M that Natalie really enjoys going and why she really like this place.
The place I love the most is down University Avenue
The one with the lions, the purple and yellow, it's true
2-
3- None
4- The poem about SAE appeals to me the most because for the story, words, and attention to detail that you gave. I don’t connect to it personally because I don’t have anyone in a fart for anything.
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